Friday, August 01, 2014
Trying to be a chameleon is hard work
I think there is some chameleon in me. I see something that mesmerizes me and I want to BE it. I crawl toward it.
Like this, over here. Or this.
I climb all over it and look really hard and try to figure out how to crawl into that skin.
You know, so I can do this.
I can spend a whole lot of time trying to make myself match those wonderful, wonderful things. Like this... who wouldn't want to do this?
But really, I'm not a very good chameleon. And that's probably a good thing. After I wear myself out trying to do things that look like something that's not me, I remember what it is I can do. I remember I like things simple and clean. I like to see the white of the page. I remember that what I do isn't great, it isn't perfect, but it reflects me. For today, anyway.
Tomorrow, I'll probably crawl off toward some other wonderful thing and start trying to change my skin again.
** All of this is to stay that I'm putting away the acrylic paints, packing up the box of stencils, and closing the journal full of dreadfully ugly, messy, over-wrought attempts at art journal pages I've made today. I'm putting my pretty flowered cotton table cloth back on the table, and setting out the polka-dotted vase of white roses, and I'm gonna just relax and breathe easily again. Trying to be a chameleon is hard work.